Beate
Happy new decade!
John
Hey! Simon!!!! wow! imagine!
Jen
Happy New Year! New Decade! Imagine!
Simon
Imagine! The year has changed!
John
imagine! but is it really a new decade?
Simon
Time for new year resolutions and reflections
John
doesn that start next year?
Simon
What is time?
Beate
oh fuck off with that shit. Celebrating in 21 is no fun.
John
i do not fucking know
LOL
Simon
Can you believe Lobster Chat has been going across 2 decades?
Beate
hahaha
John
haha
Jen
And it feels like just a moment
Simon
Let’s reflect on the previous decade and give some Golden Lobster awards…shall we?
Jen
yes please!
John
good idea!
Beate
Lets
Simon
I’m so nervous
Jen
I hope I don’t trip and fall on the stage!
Beate
I am ready for the awards!
Just kidding, I’m on the couch in very comfy pants.
But totally ready for the award show, host Simon!
Lobster Dick of the Decade is easy
The Orange One
Sorry. Did I make it weird?
Simon
Lobster dicks
Right…first category…
John
#drumroll
Simon
Best One-Liner
Are there any particular zingers that stood out for you?
Last year
John
i had a couple
Simon
Doesnt have to be funny I guess
Jen
You’re nominating yourself already John?
Beate
lol
John
NO!
“we asked mr rupt to join us but he was 30% more expensive for some reason”
That’s SIMON!!
Simon
Oh wow…I’m thrilled to be nominated
Beate
We might need to buy lobsterchat.com because that is what I just typed to get to our own chatcast™ to remind myself of the oneliners.
John
this from clay was pretty good too: ancient scriptures – “and lo, the spirit of the giving came upon them and gandalf said unto them, send forth the voluminous emails and the counting of the gifts shall be double…”
Simon
The bit that proper made me laugh was when Mark Phillips was typing
And then you all hit him with sass
Jen
I was going to say Mark’s one liners were actually all novels
John
“we should have tested mark on his keystroke count before we asked him to join us”
serious oversight
Beate
hahah
that is a good line
Simon
Wow John really is nominating himself
But that’s also my nomination
Jen
This one was good
By Simon: Jesus imagine a Norwegian focus group
Norwegian focus group has no questions. It’s just someone shouting how right they are.
John
LOL
Simon
I think it’s safe to say we’re all winners
John
and this from jen: IDGAF what channel youre using but try to be real, open and authentic and you raise more money and be happier
that’s a winner
Beate
I feel like Clay had many under-valued comments that I only noticed when typing it all out. Like his Jesus Christ Superstar-joke in the Dan Pallotta-episode
“Simon: Do you love him? Clay: I don’t know how to love him”
Simon
Clay probably the funniest guest lobster?
Jen
Clay and his witty musical retorts
Simon
He brought his A-game
Jen
Yes! Clay funniest guest lobster IMO
Simon
Clay-game
John
clay was the funniest
hands down
Simon
Well done Clay
Clay?
Jen
And fell for the kick out twice
Simon
Clay’s ejection probably the best ejection too
John
LOL
Simon
Maybe just because it was the first
Jen
Mark’s was pretty fucking good too
Simon
Clay is cleaning up at the Golden Lobsters. Like Titanic
YES! Mark’s ejection
John
Mark is still probably waiting for jen to spill the branding beans
Beate
Ok do a winner anouncement, awards chief!
Simon
Oh yeh sorry
The winners are:
Best Lobster One-liner: “we should have tested mark on his keystroke count before we asked him to join us” – John
Best Guest Lobster One-liner: “I don’t know how to love him” – Clay
John
WOOT WOOT!
Beate
??????????
Jen
It was an honour to just be nominated
Simon
Funniest Guest Lobster: Clay
Best Ejection: Mark
Beate
wow this went by fast
Simon
Who was the most significant guest lobster?
Not necessarily funny
Beate
I mean, Mark had so much gold
Jen
Ms Rupt Now
Simon
Ms Rupt was pretty impactful
John
Ms Rupt NOW
that was an important doscussion
obvi
Beate
Well okay, I am outvoted and for good reason and I accept it.
Simon
Should we overlook her because she’s a woman and this is an awards ceremony?
John
yes
HAHAHAHJA
NO!!!!!!!
Beate
oooof
Jen
We should give it to John who helped with her tech needs so wins the prize.
Simon
OK we’ll give it to Ms Rupt, but honourable mention to Mark
Really all our guests were pretty great
John
agreed.
Simon
John wins best tech support
John
lol
Simon
Wow this is so efficient because there are no acceptance speeches
Beate
Shall we remind new readers what ms. Rupt is winning for?
Jen
Ms Rupt Now came on as an anonymous lobster to talk about sexual harassment in the sector.
John
insert post here
??
Simon
Biggest Light Bulb Moment?
John
i had one
Simon
Penultimate category
Beate
Once again, I nominate mark
John
“no one complains about good fundraising.”
Simon
YES!
John
that was simon i think
Jen
Don’t we all say that? Over and over again?
John
yes
we all do
Simon
But I say it with panache
Mark talking about branding in private sector vs charity sector was mind blowing for me
Jen
Lesley with “start somewhere” is the light bulb that keeps on lighting
John
yah mark had this GEM: in our sector, a brand needs to say we depend on you
Simon
Oh yeh I love Start Somewhere
John
❤
Beate
Was just looking for the quote, this one:
Simon
Oh god yes those two
Shall we make Lesley and Mark share it?
They get it alternative days for the next year
John
YES!
Jen
Diplomacy in award ceremonies! Imagine!
Simon
So they have to meet each other every day in 2020 to hand it over
Beate
We can do that – or we make up a new category for one of them? Best advice?
Simon
Oh yeh thats a good idea
Best Advice: Lesley – Start Somewhere
Jen
❤
John
❤
Simon
Lobster Lightbulb: Mark for that branding shit
Beate
??????????
Simon
OK guys we are coming to the last category
The big one
Beate
Djis, that was fast
Beate
It’s Lobster Of The Year 2019
Beate
Oh dear – we have to vote on ourselves??
Simon
Maybe we should have done anonymous votes
Jen
You mean between the 4 of us? Lobster fight?
John
what?
Simon
Yes!
Beate
Isn’t that just going to bve a four way split, we’re not all that humble?
Simon
I’m going to go ahead and nominate Beate
Beate
ooh, twist!
?
Simon
Because essentially she launched this
John
Well – jen and beate have partaken in every one
Jen
Well the female lobsters will drag each other down and the males will try to escape
Beate
hahahahha
we’re going to end up voting for one of the boys, Jen?
John
and i would have to go with Beate for the same reason
Simon
I think I would win the people’s vote but we’ll never know
Jen
Agree. Beate. I will NOT hold you down, despite lobster law
Simon
I think that’s a winner then
Beate…congratulations
John
BUT I WILL HAPPILY go up on stage and do all the taking and hold her award too
Simon
Lobster of the Year 2019
Speech?
John
and she’ll get played off the moment she starts to talk
*talking*
Simon
*music plays*
I think she must have left
Awkward
Jen
She’s drinking and sobbing in thanks ladies room
Beate
omg, this is so unexepected, what an honour! I would like to thank my fellow lobsters without whom this would not have been possible. Thank you guys for going along with a whimsical idea an committing an afternoon a week for the rest of your lives. I love you all
?
Simon
Oh
John
haha
❤
Simon
Wow beautiful speech
After party?
Jen
After party!
Beate
after party!
Simon
?♂
?♀???
Beate
We still have ten minutes left. This has never happened before!
Simon
Yeh sorry I was too efficient
Usually I leave parties early anyway
John
efficency is good isnt it Beate?
thats like a staple norwiegan thing
Beate
It is the Norwegian spirit
John
exactly
Simon
Norwegian award ceremony: “But we are all perfect?”
John
stop fucking about and get to the point
Beate
Anyone have a new years resolution they want to share?
Simon
I’m going to start wearing jumpers
Beate
Ditching the hoodies??
Jen
That’s a sweater right?
Beate
Is this 40 year old Simon coming out?
Simon
Yes!
Still some hoodies but they are perishing
John
it’s a full body hoodie isnt it?
onesie?
Simon
Like a hoody without a hood
Jen
That’s a jumpsuit John
Beate
hahaha!
John
JFC
Beate
My god. Knitted jumpers and khaki pants. I never would have seen it coming.
Simon
No khaki
Beate
another decade?
Simon
I need a norwehian trad jumper
Beate
I will get you one
?
I won’t knit you one.
Simon
Noooo too expensive
John
my intention for this year is to see more of your beautiful people IRL
more hijinks
Jen
I’m feeling this one. John and I are blessed to see each other a lot… but we miss you both desperately IRL
John
more laughs
more adventures
❤ ❤ ❤
Beate
It is a bit impractical to have some of ones best friends on a different continent
?
Jen
So impractical!
Beate
Where will we see each other this yera?
John
all together?
Beate
Jen and I will see each other in March in Norway
Jen
❤
Beate
Do we not have anything planned were we’ll all be?
IFC?
John
jen, simon and i will see each other in a few weeks
ifc will just be me with you guys
unless jen changes her mind
Simon
Ok im gonna sneak out of this party. Have to pick up H
Beate
ok that was abrupt
John
thanks for hosting
Jen
Ghosting your own party. I love Simon
Simon
Also no interesting celebs here
John
not as good as ricky though
not enough roasting
Beate
a surprising lack of roasting honestly
Jumper-Simon is less sharp
Jen
Simon, before you go…. I need to tell you something…
Simon
Yeh sorry i was too rushed
*Jen Love removed Simon Scriver from the chat*
Beate
hahahahaha
John
LOL
NO WARNING
LOL
Simon
Hello! Happy new year